Confessions of a Martian-Part 1

After reading the title of this post (or this blog, for that matter), all of you who have read, or at least heard of the Nobel winning epic, “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” and is half as twisted as I am would be sniggering like Joey in that episode where Rachel says number 2. If you have not even heard of the above mentioned book, I would suggest a quick googling. On the other hand, if you just said “Joey who???” I have three words for you – I don’t like you.

Back on track.. Yes people, I am a Martian.. A very strong one at that.. Now, before you jump to conclusions, let me assure you that this has nothing to do with IPC section 377 (what!! I just want to cultivate the habit of googling in my readers!!). I was just referring to my astrological status. Guys, I am what your parents warned you about. Yes, I am a Manglik!! For all my international readers, (heehee) I was born under the evil eye of the red planet. So, I am the synonym for disaster and my marriage with a non manglik or “pure” boy will lead to catastrophic consequences, apparently. If that isn’t crazy enough for you, I can get married only to a Manglik guy, wait... it is not over, and who has a greater Manglik score than me (pfffft).

As some of you may be aware, this is one thing that scares, really scares the living hell out of prospective mom/dad in laws. Their non-manglik son getting married to his manglik girlfriend. Put yourself in this situation and add to it the fact that u did not even have a clue that you were one, till you were 23, and you might get where I am now.

Ironically, no one in my family except my dad knew of this ‘fatal condition’ and when the time came to actually start the drama, he was no longer around. My mom says, if she had known earlier that I am manglik, she would have cultured in me the sensibility to not fall for any guys, you know as opposed to how she always pestered me to fall in love with a non manglik guy and run away with him. But the most unexpected melodramatic reaction I got was from my brother. He was shocked, outraged and appalled at the same time (rolling eyes) because, I didn’t confide in him earlier about my relationship. How could I keep such a big secret from him, he asked me. And my response was, if I remember correctly, “bleh#^hah%$ughh!!” I mean, when have I ever shared my problems with him? Forget problems. When have I ever shared anything at all with him? How could he even think that I would share my innermost secrets with a person like him who never cared about his little sister (sob sob). Ahh... Now that I have vented some of my (pauses to check thesaurus) histrionic energy, let me ask you something. What is this shit all about anyways? Yes I mean this astrology crap. And yes, I am talking to you, you horoscope reading, never fallen in love/fell for the perfect guy astrology wise/dumped boyfriend and arranged married millionaire from US etc. etc. You really think I deserve less happiness than you because I was born at that unfortunate time when Mr. Mars decided to take a walk and while he was at it, visited some houses (including my 7^th, regrettably) on the way??? I don’t think so.

What do you expect me to do when you make me sit through those long sessions on how that neighbor of yours who ran away and got married to her lover had eventually gotten divorced or that girl who had listened to her parents and dumped her boyfriend earlier this year to get married to a guy in Canada, is living happily ‘ever since’? I am not judging either of these girls. What bothers me is how the same girl would have been judged if she had dumped her boyfriend for a better guy back when she was not under the marriage radar. Talk about double standards!!

All this talk about differential treatment and injustice is very depressing. But this article did cheer me up a little. Let me go convince my mom how Mars, being my star father (like godfather J) gives me extra energy, independence, will and self-confidence to accomplish my dreams. So long then.