Confessions of a Martian-Part 2

Where were we again?  Ah yes… As I was saying, I have been on the receiving end of so many of these ‘advice’ (brainwashing) sessions for the past one year or so, by my relatives, friends, relatives, pretend friends who are secretly enjoying my suffering, distant relatives, colleagues, that guy from McDonalds who ‘overheard’ a conversation… well, you get the drift. Naturally, I have thought a lot about this. Which makes me wonder why there is no law in India against this harassment? I mean the harassment of mangliks and not the brainwashing, you dumbo. (God!!)

Clearly this is discrimination on the basis of birth times and sex - Sex because none of the rules or restrictions for mangliks proposed by astrologers seem to apply to manglik boys. I don’t see anyone asking a boy to fast on certain days, wear ugly rings or donate blood or marry a banana (don’t ask). Why do I have to go through the embarrassing experience of having to marry a peepal tree or banana tree or whatever? When I come to think of it, I don’t even like banana that much. I would much rather marry an exotic sounding tree like Magnolia or Oleander or something, or at least a good looking tree, maybe one of these. But does anyone care about my opinions? Noooooo. How I wish my mom had held me in for another few hours on that fateful day. Maybe I would have been allowed the mercy of the stars to choose my own life partner.

Most of us, if faced with a similar situation, would probably end up agreeing to go through this humiliation just to get our parents off our back if not for anything else. According to the astrologers, once the wedding is over, the tree in question has to be slain!!! Cold blooded murder, I’m telling you. Apparently, this will imply that my husband has died due to the curse of Mars and I’m free to get married again. I would have been really amused if this was happening to someone else. Because, it makes me wonder, how stupid do they think this Mars person is, to be fooled with a tree instead of a person? It is like serving him ‘thairuvada’ when he asked for ‘kappabiriyani’ (ask a ‘mellu’ J)

Actually, it is shocking that these customs still exist in a country like India, where women adorn some of the highest offices in the government including that of the President, Speaker of the Lok Sabha and Chairperson of the ruling party and also, how could I forget, right hand of Anna Hazare, which is as high as it gets in India. (wink wink)!!

Jokes apart, let us all take a moment to think about the women in our lives, who had to go through so many hurdles, endure so much pain and still gave you a supporting hand or a shoulder to cry on. Let us promise that we will give them some reason or the other to smile today. I wish all my dear friends a very Happy Women’s Day.